school is back in session

well, the school session started over a month ago, and it is certainly in full swing. everyone has told me that i'm crazy, but i am taking physics and three different chemistry classes, all with labs included. so, yes, i may be insane, but if everything goes as planned, i should be able to apply to medical school next summer. that's the plan for now, but it may change. as for salt lake, i am loving it! the weather has been beautiful, and there a lot of awesome people here. it doesn't quite feel like home just yet, but we are getting there. i love being a student again. although everything is waaaay more expensive than i remember it being the first time around. but all in all, life is GOOD. and i am super excited for fall. it's always been my favorite season. october is the best month! and it starts this weekend. so, the question on everyone's mind is... what are you going to be for halloween? :)

btw, this is the view from my apartment. isn't it amazing?

hello blogging world...

so, i have been absent from the blogging world for awhile. i have moved to salt lake, and since then i have only had internet access while i am on campus. so, i haven't made it a priority to check blogs or update mine. but i finally did today. and it was great seeing what everyone is up to. even if i don't leave a comment, i still read your blogs. i'm a silent stalker that way. :)

anyway, so life as a college student once again is pretty exciting. it consists of lots of class, studying, tests and the like. ok, so it's not that exciting. but i am pretty excited for this weekend. friday i get to move once again. (not fun) but it is definitely a change for the better. i will have internet, phone and tv again! although i have to actually buy a tv to be able to use the cable. anyone want to donate? ...
so yeah, a new apartment for me. and hopefully i won't have to move again for a loooooong time. speaking of living situations, it has been an interesting experience not having any roommates. it gets verrry quiet without other people. and no tv. but it's been good. i get a lot of me time. :)

the other exciting thing happening this weekend is the stadium of fire. i got really excited for it a few months ago when i heard that mr. sexy voice will be performing (aka brad paisely), but then was sorely depressed when i saw the price of the tickets. then this last week, one of my best friends in the world brought salvation in the form of cheap tickets... so needless to say, i will be in attendance saturday evening. fireworks and mr. paisley, what could be better?

scattered

i don't have ADD. i know i don't. but when it comes to jobs and choosing a career, it sometimes feels like it. i have always been jealous when somebody says "ever since i was a kid, i knew i wanted to be..." when i hear that, it makes me feel like there is something wrong with me. i have always wanted to be so many different things. but the pressure to choose just one makes me hesitate, and i end up doing nothing that i wanted to. i enjoy doing many different things, but there has never been just one thing that made me happy. sometimes i just feel scattered. i have great short-term focus. but i lack long-term focus. i like to dip my hand in many different things, but never jump all the way in. personally, i don't think there is anything wrong with that. so why is it so difficult to find something i can do to pursue all these different interests? any ideas? i make a decision, only to change my mind a couple days later. i want to be a doctor, a musician, a writer, an astronaut, an archaeologist, a teacher, a researcher, a world traveler, a chef, and the list goes on. here i am, 30 years old and still undecided. and still feeling pressure to be something. why do i have to choose one? why can't i be everything? how can i be everything?

i haven't posted anything of substance in awhile. but i will. i've been posting pictures to face book, but i'm going to put a few on here. not right now though. i'm tired of looking at the computer screen and i need to go get some dinner. but i wanted to say that my blog has not been forgotten, and there will be some updates in the future.

fall is my favorite season, and it always has been. i've been trying to decide why. i think it's because i love the leaves changing colors. and i love how it gets cooler at night but it's still warm during the day. it's cold enough to pull out the sweaters and the jackets and maybe a scarf or two, but not so cold that you feel like your fingers and toes and nose are going to fall off. i love halloween. i love to dress up and come up with creative costume ideas. i love thanksgiving. it is one of my favorite holidays of all year. not just the food, but the family getting all together. i love the smells. i love pumpkin pie, and the smell of nutmeg and clove. and wassail. not to mention, my birthday is in the fall. october is my favorite month.

i hope you all are enjoying autumn as much as i do! :)

i have come to a decision

yes, that's true. the girl who is known for saying "i don't know, you decide" has finally made a decision. it's only a partial one. but still, a decision. and boy howdy, does it feel good! i'm not saying what it is, cause i have a great history of letting people talk me out of things, including allowing myself to talk me out of it. but i just wanted to say, that i have a plan, and i'm working out the details. so take that, undecisiveness!

bucket list

i couldn't sleep last night. i got to thinking about the *big* birthday that will be coming up for me later on this year. i thought about all the things that i've wanted to do and accomplish, and how i haven't done many of them yet. so i started writing my own bucket list of things i want to do in my lifetime. so here goes... remember, this is just the start, and in no particular order...

1. write a song, with words and everything
2. write a book
3. make an album
4. finish a painting or two
5. crochet a blanket
6. own a house
7. decorate said house
8. design a landscape
9. design a wedding bouquet
10. make a dent in the 1000 places to see before you die list
11. go back to paris
12. use my french again
13. be part of a band
14. fall in love
15. see the pyramids
16. go on an african safari
17. enter something in a contest at the county fair
18. learn meditation from thais on the violin
19. learn claire de lune on the piano
20. become a scriptorian
21. become a great cook
22. have a baby
23. get organized
24. be as skinny as i was on my mission
25. have parties for every holiday
26. visit the home countries of my ancestors (aka scandinavia and british isles)
27. take a grecian vacation

as i look over this, i realize a lot of it has to do with traveling and seeing new sights. anyone want to be my travel partner? :)

what's on your bucket list?

post #125

i realized that i haven't written a real post for awhile. what to post about? life just keeps going and going. i guess i feel like nothing extremely exciting has happened... but here's a list of highlights from the last few months...



1. i finished the semester at good ole san juan college, with straight a's!

2. as of yesterday, i have a job as a pharmacy tech at walgreens, hopefully starting next week.

3. because of #2, my plans are changing. i won't be doing the medical lab tech program in january. and if i like pharmacy, i may go on to further schooling in that.

4. thanksgiving was spent in dallas with the parentals and two of my sisters and their families. it was great fun and lots of food! of course there were many pies, as is the jones family tradition.

5. christmas was also great fun. it was celebrated here, with one sister and fam coming down and the brother coming over. a full house, with lots of boys (6 nephews were here), lots of wrapping paper, freezing weather, and the usual cranberry pudding.



that's all for now, folks!

question

you've made a decision. and you feel great about it. but while working towards whatever you decided, there are roadblocks popping up at every corner. no matter what you do, it doesn't look like it's going to work out. do you give up and go a different direction? or do you keep trying to get past the roadblocks?

highlights - not the hair kind

i have really become a bigtime slacker on this thing. i used to be soooo addicted. i thought i'd put another little update on here. i STILL have not uploaded my pictures to the computer, so you have to keep on waiting for that. i'm not the most organized person, you know. anyway, here are a couple of random highlights from the past little while:

1. i'm taking 3 summer classes: phlebotomy, anatomy & physiology, and nutrition. so far, i would have to say that anatomy & physiology is my favorite one. am i an incredible nerd or what?

2. i went river rafting in durango with the institute. and yes, as usual, i got sunburned on the top of my head, the top of my shoulders and the top of my knees. the rest of me is still pasty white.

3. while watching two of my nephews last week, i got to see the move UP! in 3D, which was pretty darn good. i also went to the library to see the singing zoologist, who was quite entertaining. if you need a good song about the migration of the monarch butterfly, check him out.

4. i still haven't unpacked all of my boxes, surprise, surprise.

5. a couple weeks ago, two of my best friends in the world got married, and i got to be there for it! and glaze about a billion shortbread cookies.

6. my cat has finally gotten used to being here in new mexico. although i think the heat is getting to her. yesterday she ran in from outside panting, just like a dog. i have never seen a cat do that before. i swear she's part dog. and maybe part deer too.

7. i have read through the entire fablehaven series, and i'm on the third inkheart book. i'm addicted to reading, despite having to study for class.

8. i moved a large bookcase down two flights of stairs (one of which was too short for it, but i succeeded nonetheless) all by lonesome. i only left a mark on one door and some dents in one wall. not too shabby, i say.

9. a couple weeks ago, i got to see the play at the amphitheater, annie get your gun. it was soooo good! i highly reccommend it to anyone. even if you don't live here...

10. ummm, i can't think of a tenth thing, but i couldn't just leave it at nine, cause that's not an even number. so there you go.

everything's a crisis

i've been getting a little frustrated with people lately. maybe it's because i've been watching too much tv, but it seems like everything is supposed to be so horrible and we all should be terrified of dying from swine flu or the economy or climate change or whatever it may be. well, i'm here to say that life is not as bad as the comentators are telling us it is. and i think everything would be a lot better and everyone would be a lot happier if more focus was put on the positive. i'm so sick of hearing about negative things. not everything is a crisis. so there. that's my opinion.

here's a little something to make you smile:

Doctrine & Covenants 6:34-

Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail.

careers

i've always considered myself one of those people who will never figure out what they want to be when they grow up. someone recently suggested (or should i say highly encouraged) me to find a career aptitude test and take it, as the path that i'm planning didn't make sense to them... so i did a google search for a test, found a free one, and took it. 485 questions later, these were the results...

1. Conservation or Environmental Scientist
2. Medical Scientist or Epidemiologist
3. Agricultural or Food Scientist
4. Counselor
5. Editor
6. Dentist
7. Dietician or Nutritionist
8. Surgeon
9. Medical or Veterinarian Technologist
10. Proofreader

the first two were in the "very high" category, while the others (in no order other than alphabetical) were "high".

i've already had a job in the environmental science field and the agriculture field. and actually, my plan to go from here was to take classes to be certified as a medical technologist. maybe i didn't need this test at all! or maybe i should give each one of these a try. anyone want to pay for my schooling?

meditation

i haven't posted in awhile, but i HAVE been thinking a lot lately. a lot. it seems like life is all about decisions. every day decisions that may not affect anybody but ourselves, but also huge life changing decisions that can affect our families and friends, and even people we don't know and future generations. to me, that's a lot of responsibility. how do you go about making decisions like that?

i have also been feeling the need to study lately, almost like a hungering for more knowledge. i want to learn, i want to go back to school, i want to read about anything and everything i get my hands on.

what it comes down to is that i am trying to figure out what the next step in life should be, and i want to make it a good one. something that challenges me, but not to the breaking point. something that will let me feel like i'm contributing and doing my part, not just existing from day to day.

i've been reading a book the my mom gave me awhile back, called "a twenty-something's guide to spirituality- questions you hesitate to ask, answers you rarely hear." there are two sections in particular that hit home to me. one about lds women and education, and one about diverging roads. these haven't necessarily answered all my questions, but they have at least given me comfort to know that i'm not the only one who struggles with these things. anyway, here is a question that is asked in this book that i can really, really relate to. i'm going to quote it, but it sounds exactly like something that i have asked before.

"Sometimes I find myself growing dizzy from my own indecisiveness. Each road has different people to meet and different experiences to be had; these things shape who I ultimately will become. I find myself becoming unduly anxious to make the right choice between two great options; of course, what I really want to do is the Lord's will. Sometimes it seems the importance of the question has little correlation with the clarity of His answer.

The decisions between two goods are hard, and I have constantly inquired of the Lord for guidance. With some decisions, however, there have been no 'bolts of lightening.' With these decisions I have tried to be guided by the peace that I felt. Sometimes I have simply had to start down one of the possible paths, hoping for the best. This has not always proven successful, resulting in self-doubt and fear with respect to later decision-making efforts.

Why does the Lord give stronger answers to some questions than others? Are there circumstances when the Lord really doesn't care what I choose to do? How much does He leave up to me? What is the Lord's role in my agency?"
there is a response to this question by Virginia H. Pearce, which i am currently reading and meditating upon. which leads to the reason for the video... this is meditation from thais by jules massenet, my absolute favorite violin piece of all time. i have done a ton of meditating to it, and it still continues to inspire me. i have a goal of learning to play it before i die...

life lessons

i was looking thru some old blog entries and found this one from a year and a half ago. it explains exactly how i have been feeling lately. man, i'm good at relating to myself! although, it is a bit disheartnening to think that i'm still trying to learn the same lessons a year and a half later... anyway, here's the old post.



in thinking about life and the way things are going, i've decided that it must be time for the continuation of the two big lessons of life. be humble, be patient. be humble, be patient. and having faith goes along with those two. it seems that no matter how i plan the way i think life should be, it turns out very differently. that's not a bad thing. i've realized that my perspective of life is so completely limited most of the time, so it's good that someone who knows a heck of lot more than me is in control. it does get frustrating when i don't understand where i'm going or even why i'm on the road, but in the end it always turns out better than i expected. so, be humble. i know i don't know everything so i shouldn't wonder why things aren't happening they way i thought. be patient. again, i don't know everything, so i shouldn't expect things to happen when i want them to. i know, this isn't anything new, but it's apparantly easy to forget. both of these lessons require faith. faith to trust and have confidence in someone else, someone who knows what he's doing. it's a beautiful thing! hard to learn, but beautiful.


ps. i found this amazing shot on flickr. i hope they don't mind me stealing it... :)

there comes a time...

i stole this from jessie, but i figure it's a good description of what i'm trying to tell myself right now. i've been thinking about a few things, but it's hard to put my thoughts into words. i guess i've been thinking a lot about what i want from life and why certain things i want aren't happening. there is no real explanation for it, but i'm trying to not think about the drama and focus on the good things. drama is so totally overrated. i don't really understand why some things in life have to be so complicated. i look around and things seem to happen so easily for other people. i see my dreams coming true for just about everyone else i know, and yet, nothing for me. this may sound selfish, but when will it be my time? they say that you are the one who makes your dreams come true. but i don't entirely agree with that. i mean, i do to a certain point, i agree that you have to work hard to get what you want, and if you're lazy about it, you may just not get it. but what if you're working your behind off, and nothing happens? you're stuck. i hate being stuck. in fact, i think it's one of the worst feelings in the world. does that mean that it is time to let go of that dream? i hope not, because i don't think i'll ever be able to let go of it. and if it never happens, it will just be a long life of trying to reach something that is unreachable. i know i'm supposed to have faith. and patience. and humility. and all those wonderful things. but should there come a time when you have to let go of the thing that you are trying to be patient for? i know i'm making this really general, so it may not make sense. but i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm trying to stay focused and i'm trying to stay hopeful, and i'll keep trying but it gets to be so hard sometimes. sorry for pity party post, but i had to get that out. i'm letting go of the drama, and surrounding myself with happiness...

time to breathe

well, its sunday evening, and i realized that its been awhile since i've posted anything. i don't have any new pictures, but i have been doing some traveling lately. i was in idaho and washington last week, for meetings with work. everyone has been asking how my trip was, and to tell the truth, it was not very exciting. it was rather stressful though. i don't know if the stress will ever end. when you're in school, you don't think that life could be any more stressful or busy than during finals week. but then you get a job where it takes up every spare minute that you have... its like a perma-finals week, every week. don't get me wrong, i do like my job. but it would be nice to have some breaks sometime, when you don't have to think about it at all. i guess i didn't realize that this would be the kind of job that i would have to take home with me, and maybe after i get through the next few weeks it will get better. its been kind of killer lately though.

anyway, not to whine the whole time... life is generally pretty good right now. i've learned that 3:30pm is a horrible time to fly into lax... it is possible to have good weather in idaho in february... if you travel too much your houseplants will die... no matter how much you travel and work with people who like to drink and swear, coming back on the weekends and going to church always makes you feel better... music is and always will be my drug of choice.

that's it for now.

1:00am thoughts

i can't sleep. so i blog. although i'm not sure what to talk about. my life hasn't been to extremely exciting lately, except for traveling. i spent two weeks in new mexico, then a week in el centro, then a week in st. louis, and now i'm home for the weekend, and headed back to el centro this week. i love traveling, but it's getting a bit tiring. it's kind of weird to think about where life has led me so far. i never imagined that i would be doing what i am doing. i never thought of myself as a career woman, but i guess that's what i am. but don't be expecting any pant suits anytime soon. :)

recently a friend asked me why i chose the field that i'm working in at the moment. there's not really a straight answer to that. it's like asking someone why they like their favorite color. yeah, there are reasons like, it's bright, or it makes me happy, or it calms me down or whatever. and it may not be your favorite every single day. but it's still your favorite. maybe that analogy has problems, but i guess i chose to major in horticulture, because i liked it. simple, but true. i was struggling to choose, so i took classes in a number of different directions, but i really enjoyed my plant classes, so i decided to stick with that. then as i finished school, went on a mission, and was looking for a job, i still wanted to be involved with plants. to me, it's pretty amazing to be involved with the process of life. a tiny seed comes to life, grows into a plant, which provides beauty and nourishment for all of us. and then the cycle starts over. i love being around that life, the idea of creation, to watch it all happen. i suppose you could do that in other fields of work, but this is the direction i took. i'm still working on the career path that i'm taking, but for now, this is where i am.

in a slight change of subject, as i was riding in the shuttle from the airport on friday, i realized that i may finally feel at home here. i think it took awhile for me to get used to all the people around, it still gets to me sometimes. i'm definitely a small town girl and driving through the city is quite different from what i was used to. but as we drove along the coast, i felt lucky to be here. i know there are ups and downs to this place, but at that moment, i didn't care about the downs. maybe it was because somebody else was driving. :) maybe i'm finally able to let go of whatever was holding me back. maybe i could finally get past the drawbacks to see the good. maybe i'm just in a more postivie mood... i guess what i'm saying is that life is good right now. 2008 is going to be a good year, i can feel it.

by the way, i bought a new car. a glacier blue honda crv. i'll try to get a pic of it on here sometime. i'm on the lookout for a name for my new baby, if anyone has ideas...