i stole this from jessie, but i figure it's a good description of what i'm trying to tell myself right now. i've been thinking about a few things, but it's hard to put my thoughts into words. i guess i've been thinking a lot about what i want from life and why certain things i want aren't happening. there is no real explanation for it, but i'm trying to not think about the drama and focus on the good things. drama is so totally overrated. i don't really understand why some things in life have to be so complicated. i look around and things seem to happen so easily for other people. i see my dreams coming true for just about everyone else i know, and yet, nothing for me. this may sound selfish, but when will it be my time? they say that you are the one who makes your dreams come true. but i don't entirely agree with that. i mean, i do to a certain point, i agree that you have to work hard to get what you want, and if you're lazy about it, you may just not get it. but what if you're working your behind off, and nothing happens? you're stuck. i hate being stuck. in fact, i think it's one of the worst feelings in the world. does that mean that it is time to let go of that dream? i hope not, because i don't think i'll ever be able to let go of it. and if it never happens, it will just be a long life of trying to reach something that is unreachable. i know i'm supposed to have faith. and patience. and humility. and all those wonderful things. but should there come a time when you have to let go of the thing that you are trying to be patient for? i know i'm making this really general, so it may not make sense. but i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm trying to stay focused and i'm trying to stay hopeful, and i'll keep trying but it gets to be so hard sometimes. sorry for pity party post, but i had to get that out. i'm letting go of the drama, and surrounding myself with happiness...
6 comments:
Kera, I love you! Just when you think things aren't going your way, you will discover that H.F. knows you way better than you know you... and he has something so wonderful worked out, you'll wonder how you ever doubted. Things are looking UP for you! You're amazing!!!!!
In so many ways I wish I could be like you, Kera. I hope you know that. I wish I had the right words to "surround you with happiness", but, alas, eloquence eludes me. I do have claim to one thing no one else in the world has - I'm your younger sister and I love you and look up to you like no one else can or ever will. Hope that helps you "let go of the drama"! :)
I had this conversation today with my friend Tala. I have a tendency to OVER think and OVER analyze things. She told me just to let it go, let go of the thing I've been wanting and waiting and trying to force and it will come back to me again when the time is right in the right way. It helped me out so thought I'd pass it along.
Emily
Hang in there. All of us have trials to go through that may look easier to bear to other people. But you know that already! We don't always get what we want, when we want it- we just get other things that we never knew that we wanted. Just do what you know is right so that when you look back at life you always know you did the right thing, no matter what comes your way. And remember, you have lots of people that love you!
Kera, you have sooooo much to offer the world. I am sorry that you are down. My favorite quote is that happiness is like a butterfly the more you chase it the more it eludes you but if you turn your attention to other things it comes and sits softly on your shoulder. Please call me! I love to chat with you.
Kera,
Dad and I love you too. We are told the B of M has all the answers so in the spirit of finding answers, read the first 16 chapters of Nephi, make a list of all the things Nephi did while he was single and waiting. Diana Lacey had all of us at RS do this and it was pretty amazing. Call me and we will compare lists. Mom
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