i stole this from jessie, but i figure it's a good description of what i'm trying to tell myself right now. i've been thinking about a few things, but it's hard to put my thoughts into words. i guess i've been thinking a lot about what i want from life and why certain things i want aren't happening. there is no real explanation for it, but i'm trying to not think about the drama and focus on the good things. drama is so totally overrated. i don't really understand why some things in life have to be so complicated. i look around and things seem to happen so easily for other people. i see my dreams coming true for just about everyone else i know, and yet, nothing for me. this may sound selfish, but when will it be my time? they say that you are the one who makes your dreams come true. but i don't entirely agree with that. i mean, i do to a certain point, i agree that you have to work hard to get what you want, and if you're lazy about it, you may just not get it. but what if you're working your behind off, and nothing happens? you're stuck. i hate being stuck. in fact, i think it's one of the worst feelings in the world. does that mean that it is time to let go of that dream? i hope not, because i don't think i'll ever be able to let go of it. and if it never happens, it will just be a long life of trying to reach something that is unreachable. i know i'm supposed to have faith. and patience. and humility. and all those wonderful things. but should there come a time when you have to let go of the thing that you are trying to be patient for? i know i'm making this really general, so it may not make sense. but i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm trying to stay focused and i'm trying to stay hopeful, and i'll keep trying but it gets to be so hard sometimes. sorry for pity party post, but i had to get that out. i'm letting go of the drama, and surrounding myself with happiness...
